Stephen R. Covey quoted Victor Frankl when he quipped, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space is the power to choose.” How often do we, as educators, give away that space with knee-jerk reactions that are, at best, unproductive? What if…we didn’t take the debate bait? What if, instead of engaging in distractions related to low-level behavior issues, we used a diffusing phrase that communicated a personal commitment to their valuable learning time.
Compare these Examples:
Knee-Jerk Reactions:
S: I hate math…this is so boring.
T: Boring?! Back in my day (blah-blah-blah). You kids don’t know how good you have it. We are playing a stinking GAME that I came in on Saturday to prepare for you guys. But it is BORING?! Do you think this is boring? I’ll show YOU boring–you asked for it, you got it.
S: Geesh, can’t a person just have an opinion? This is freakin’ mind control.
T: (blah-blah-blah–talking to hear herself because nobody is listening–not teaching.
ALTERNATIVE
S: I hate math…this is so boring.
T: (Pauses, breathes, chooses non-confrontational body language and tone of voice) Nevertheless..the area of a rectangle (continues lesson).
… at the end of class
T: Jill, please stick around for a moment after class…(in privacy). So, let’s talk about your blurt earlier– about hating math and it being boring… Two things: (1) It is fine to have a feeling, even when it is a big feeling, but the announcement about it was counter-productive to learning in our classroom. What might you have done to express your frustration? (2) Do you have any workable suggestions for how to learn about the area of a rectangle? I’m listening.
